One Thing Leads to Another (Dick)

Image via Art or Porn

I mixed up 2 quarts of pineapple juice this morning, I need it for a little experiment I have underway (more on that later), and it occurred to me that the extra fluid I'm drinking everyday for this endeavor could actually improve the volume of my ejaculate. No, really!

Jane is currently keen on the entertainment aspect of showy ejaculations. In the arena of porn, where the "Money Shot" usually caps the breathy performance of its stars, bigger is better and the further it flies the more it captivates. Honestly, I don't know how those guys do it. I've seen porno-dicks unleash inhuman volumes of jizz, usually on some hapless chick's face.

I'm all for giving Jane what she wants, but often the performance I put on results in more of an enthusiastic dribble than a spermatozoon canon shot. I'd like to change that. Staying better hydrated can improve the volume of my baby gravy and stronger PC muscles can eject said spunk with greater force.

So I poured the pineapple juice... and I started rhythmic contractions of my PC muscles. Then I thought to myself, "Self... you should get a little kick-back for all the work you are doing" and so now I sit here with a glass of juice in my hand and a butt plug in my ass.

It's funny how one thing leads to another. Take some frozen pineapple juice out of the freezer and the next thing I know I've got 11 ounces of stainless steel doing a rhythmic grind against my prostate. This sure is tough... I hope Jane appreciates it.