Just Take It (Dick)

Sometimes you just want to lay back and take it.

Like if you've been pounding the keyboard all day with only an occasional break for porn... by the end of the day your dick is hard and your arms are tired! Am I right guys?

At difficult times like these you don't want to do the work sex requires. Face it, propped up on trembling arms doing endless hip thrusts is sweaty work! And in the end... you give her the liquid "thank you".

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but the most sincere love sounds like "just lay back while I have my way with you". That's treasure right there. I don't even mind waiting while she gets me another beer.

Sex toys though, that's another story. Toys for boys won't fetch the beer... and they won't do the work for you either. "Lay back and take it" seems like an impossible option for a man with a hardened desire and no companion to entertain it.

A couple years ago we bought Jane an Eroscillator, a sex toy so perfect in function that I believe it must have been designed by a team of highly educated clitorises. I imagine them sipping Cosmopolitans and working, very excitedly, over the design... pushing their hoods back so they can see.

The effort required to ride an Eroscillator from "no" to "OH!" is exactly nil. No investment. Big reward. It's like having a Wall Street Banker for your genitals. And I'm jealous.

I woke up at 1:30 a.m. this morning with a raging hard on and while I tossed and turned it pulsed and throbbed. Relief is what I needed but rubbing one out meant vigorous pumping of the arm, increased heart rate, and shaking of my wife's bed. I needed an Eroscillator designed by a bunch of dicks.

So, while Jane began having dreams she was in an earthquake, my mind wandered to the new Fun Factory Cobra Libre... a curious new toy for men that supposedly requires no action of thrust. Just stick it in, flip it on, lay back and take it.

I entered a contest to win one. But you shouldn't.. you'll dilute my odds of winning. And Jane needs her sleep.